Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
