but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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