Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
