Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize