I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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