i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
