Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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