Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
