I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
