Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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