I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
