Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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