i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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