I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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