Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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