So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
