This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
