I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
