Who wears a wallet chain?!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
