alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
