Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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