Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
