Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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