Im at strip club and am horny
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
