He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
