flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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