RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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