Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I intend to get homeless drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
