That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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