I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
