So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
