Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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