I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
