if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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