I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize