Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
