dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
