hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
