Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
