so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
