His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
