yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
