where am i from again
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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