She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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