I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
