How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
