what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
