It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
