You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize