Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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