I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
