also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
