Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
