apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
