He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
