She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize