I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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