She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
