Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
