you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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