Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I will pee on everything he values.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
