Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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