also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize