Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
