It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
