Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
