I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She told me I should be a condom model.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
