he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
PANTIES FOUND
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
