Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
