I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
