I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
