And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
