She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
