my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
