it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
