even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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