She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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