a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
