First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
