YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You may now shotgun with the bride
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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