Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
