I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
